Truth

Just a word or two to clear my head this morning.

I am fortunate enough to have found the love of my life when I was 15 years old.  When you spend that much of your life with someone, it is hard not to know them to the very core of his soul.  And I do know him.  

He is so full of life, joy and dreams that people are drawn to him like a moth to a flame.  Unfortunately, that means all sorts of people.  Good, loyal friends who would do anything for him and who have stuck by him as long as I have. Also, there are leeches.  The sort of people who have very little of his charm and none of his light.  They want to bleed this light from him for their own purposes or maybe they just want to bask in the glow for a time until they can't handle it anymore.  Then they attempt to carry him down with them into the flame.  

Let me add here that when we met, I was enamored of the light as much as anyone else.  It takes a while to learn the workings of someone's heart.  And I tend to guard mine from outsiders.  Not him.  He is what he is.  Loving, generous, open...unprotected.  He faces the world head-on and damn the consequences.  He thinks others mean what they say and say what they mean.  I know better.  

Life has taught me to be suspicious of others and their motives.  No one really means what they say all of the time.  Very few say what they mean... ever.   In the South, women are notoriously skilled at veiled compliments and nasty word play.  I've always wished to be better with this talent.  However, anyone who knows me has witnessed the spectacle of foot in mouth that I often display.  There is very little filter between my brain and my mouth. Perhaps that is why I place such a high value on honesty in others.

All of this is to say that today--through yet another gut-wrenching life experience-- God has made me realize the sacred truth about life in this world a little more clearly.  This world is temporal.  Heaven is eternal.  This is not our home and we will never be completely content as long as we dwell here. I must remember where the origin of my joy is and let my mind and heart live there in order to survive this world.  This world is full of the evils of sin.  Just open your eyes, or expose your heart and you will see it.

"6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."   

1 Peter 5:6-10 NIV

Sometimes, I hate being so cynical...

...and I try to think back and pinpoint if there was just one moment when it happened.  You know, like, if I could reverse my thinking on that one life experience, I could return to an age of innocence and naivete.  But, no, it was a series of life events and experiences with the world that changed me from the annoyingly, optimistic, glass-half-full thinker to the almost-bitter-but-not-quite-pessimist.  

Because I was Suzy Sunshine back in the day.  Always ready with a word of encouragement and looking for the rainbow through the storm clouds.  And then, I was trounced and stomped and beat up by the real world.  When you do that to someone who has always had a stubborn mind-set and a fighting spirit...it is not a long journey to the survivalist who evolves into a cynic.

And then I look at my kids and think with regret that my conversion into cynicism forever affected the way that they look at the world.  Because my road to cynicism was begun before they entered this world.   I think I wanted to protect them from the heartbreaks, painful encounters and cruel behavior that others can inflict on you.  So, in my efforts to shield them from pain, I might have given them a tougher shell than I should have.  

Once, after completing a study on spiritual gifts, when I discovered that my lowest score was in "mercy" I was a little taken aback when my pastor/friend remarked, "Well that is no surprise."  Then I began to reflect on my personality and the persona that I portrayed to the world.  I don't have much sympathy with stupidity, boorish behavior or the lack of common sense.  I am an impatient person.  I raised my kids not to cry at every little scrape or fall.  It is the way that I was raised.  But I never thought that I lacked compassion or mercy.  In truth, I'm not certain that I had ever been introspective enough to look that far into my character.  It was a little painful to realize how far from the simple innocent I had come.

There's no real point to this post.  Just an introspective moment brought on by missing my kids today.  A moment of selfish indulgence...and a little regret.

Honey vs Vinegar

A girl I worked with once loved to say, "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."  

She said this to me because she saw me lose my temper and become frustrated--on more than one occasion--at impossible, rude, demanding customers.  While I would give myself a headache while holding my tongue and "taking crap" from these people--who literally believed that "The customer is always right" mantra meant "I am better, smarter and more privileged than you and therefore will treat you as a lowly servant and you should be glad that I've deigned to speak to you"--she never lost her cool and did not let the idiots get to her.  

While I understood her meaning in the honey-vinegar phrase, it took me many years of working in retail and dealing with the public before I reached her zen place of peace.  It was only when I realized that in allowing these socially-backward fools an opportunity to cause me stress, I was letting them have the very power over me that they imagined that they did.  As long as I behave with proper manners and respect for others--as any good Southerner is taught--and follow the Golden Rule, then I have honey in abundance.

FYI:  This is The Golden Rule "In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.."  Matthew 7:12

I've often found that I actually pity the distraught, bitter, hysterical creature who becomes so easily agitated when no one lays out the red carpet for her arrival or bows and scrapes at her feet.  It is easy to see that there is little happiness or joy in the life of one who attacks the world head-on filled with anger and hatred with little to no provocation.

Let's get a little closer to our own circle...What about your dinner companion that rants at the poor waitress when she mistakenly puts a lemon on the glass of sweet tea?  Or the shopper who rams past everyone to try to be first in the checkout line when a new register is opened?

Have you ever considered what the actions of this person demonstrate about his character?   Entitlement. Arrogance. Rude. Unpleasant. Insensitive. Lack of Respect or Consideration for Others.  Lack of Manners.  Bitterness. Unhappiness.  Friendless. Contemptible.

Let's pull our focus on this circle in a little tighter...Have you ever been this person? If I must be honest--and I must--I am sad to say that there are times when I have been this person.  Maybe I'd had a bad day, or a series of bad days.  Maybe I was hungry and my blood sugar was low.  Perhaps I was concerned about paying the bills, or the heater on the van not working.  Or maybe I just felt bad and wanted to take it out on someone else.  Lots of excuses...but none are really justifiably excused.

On the other hand what does The Word of God say about our character as a Christian?  
"  12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. 14 Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.16 Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."  Colossians 3:12-17

And, by no means am I there.  But, I keep on trying.   Making honey instead of vinegar. 

When you are getting ready to go out and about this week...try to remember to put on the character of Christ as part of your wardrobe.  I will too.  

Manners, morals and more

I know...you didn't really think I'd make it back today.  I wasn't so sure either.

Immediately when you see that post title your mind thinks, "Great! Another old person to lecture me about how the world is going to hell in a hand basket! Click."(The "click" was your mouse closing the open tab.)  Or maybe, you don't even know that expression and your brain used a totally different phrase.  But chances are...you were on the same train of thought. The conductor was yelling, "All Aboard!"  and you jumped on.  Admit it.

The intention here is not to lecture.  Just factual observations from someone who has been hanging around planet earth for more than a couple of decades. 

 

First, back in the dark ages--when we had only 3 or 4 channels to choose from on our TV and we were not that far removed from black and whites--I remember my parents getting all upset over changes in tv censorship.  There was a show on that featured a crusty, middle-aged, blue collar, New Yorker and his lovable, daffy wife; their hip, modern daughter and her liberal-thinking, long-haired husband.  Suddenly the words "H-E-double hockey sticks" and not the kind of "dam" like a beaver builds were blasting into our home amid audience laughter.  Shocking.

Next, there were two bouncy-boobied girls who were sharing an apartment with a loveable, not-quite-leacherous guy...simply to make ends meet.  Plus, there was a lot of innuendo that was cloaked in corny antics and cheesy jokes.

I'm pretty sure I heard adults using the "hell in a handbasket" phrase.  All my friends and I thought it was no big deal.  

**Sidebar**Although my parents did not use profanity or foul language in our home--I had heard other adults and some of my friends use it.  As a matter of fact, I remember trying to make my best friend in the 4th grade stop "cussing".  Every time she did, I kicked her in the rear.  We laughed about it, but the next year I was lecturing her on the dangers of smoking when she stole cigarettes from her mom and dad.  I don't know where she is today.  I hope you gave up the smoking, Angie.

Fast forward to today.  The profane and obscene language is so far removed from those 2 words that shocked the world back when I was growing up...there is no comparison.  

TV shows are almost expected to feature gay and homosexual characters in them or they are considered biased and prejudiced. Really?  Does every single home, work place and neighborhood have the token "Homosexual Family or Person" in reality?  Not in my reality.  Hasn't the fear of political correctness taken our world hostage? 

We can't have prayers to God on TV without causing a huge stir.  It may be considered offensive to some to refer to God or Jesus in public places and events.  However, if other religions are not allowed to practice their rites and rituals on the job or in public places...then we are offending them.  How is this possible?  Double standard?

There is no doubt that our world has been tilted so far off its axis that the only way it can ever get back where it belongs will require a painful and difficult process.  And sadly, there are a large majority that are much happier to just keep walking at a slant.  

Morality is on a slippery slope and is quickly losing ground.  We, as a people have chosen this course and only we can change it.

15 Look here! Today I’ve set before you life and what’s good versus death and what’s wrong. 16 If you obey the Lord your God’s commandments that I’m commanding you right now by loving the Lord your God, by walking in his ways, and by keeping his commandments, his regulations, and his case laws, then you will live and thrive, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. 17 But if your heart turns away and you refuse to listen, and so are misled, worshipping other gods and serving them, 18 I’m telling you right now that you will definitely die. 

Deuteronomy 30:15-18a CEB

Okay...so I didn't talk about manners today...maybe tomorrow?

Don't Faint...I'm not dead yet.

As Charlie Brown says when Lucy pulls that stupid football away...
"Aaauugh!"  It is unbelievable that he continually falls for that, right?   Like it is unbelievable that it has been more than a year since I was here.  Talk about running scared. You'd think I would have lost some weight during that marathon sprint away from this blog.  But, No.  Didn't happen.

So, exactly what's up?
Through a series of life events that have been tumultuous, difficult and--at times--heartbreaking this blog has been ignored and pushed to the back of my heart over the last year and a half.  I'm not going into detail about it all.  Just know that I am still here and I'm still not sure where this journey is going to take me, but I do know my ultimate destination.  And I'm okay with that.  I know who holds my future and I'm trying to get back on His track and stay the course.  

Today, I lost my temper at an insensitive, self-indulgent remark made on a social media site and began to realize how much I had to say in response to this unfortunate, socially-backward, good-manner-lacking individual.  Guess where that led me?  I'm here, aren't I?

So, maybe God has a wonderful sense of humor when it comes to gently guiding me back to His path.  Today I will choose to take a deep breath, think slowly and deliberately about what my next post will be about and attempt to write it tomorrow.  That is my goal and I pray that I have the courage to stick with it.  

Thanks for your patience with my self-indulgence today.  ;)
Happy Monday,  Pam