So...now what?

It's been a dreary weekend with gray skies, drizzle and fog and the weather forecast for the week is more of the same, followed by a return of winter cold.  How depressing is that?  I love blue skies, warm breezes and sunshine!  However, I refuse to let the weather control my spirit...so "onward and upward!"  Out of this depression we march!

Anticipation


Perhaps you aren't quite as ancient as I am...but maybe you remember a song by Carly Simon called "Anticipation".  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDJ_Mz8ftqI


"We can never know about the days to comeBut we think about them anywayAnd I wonder if I'm really with you nowOr just chasing after some finer day....Anticipation, AnticipationIs making me late
Is keeping me waiting
And tomorrow we might not be together
I'm no prophet, I don't know natures way
So I'll try to see into your eyes right now
And stay right here, 'cause these are the good old days." 

Does your life ever feel like this?  

Remember when we were children and we couldn't wait to "grow up"?  The promise of adventure and excitement that must be waiting for us when we get old enough to drive, to date, to go places and do things.  First, there will be high school, then college and leaving home to explore the world outside the confines of our parents' rules and strictures.  Then comes job, marriage, families of our own, buying a house and creating our own little life in our corner of the world.  Remember how that all seemed so far away and wonderful?  

That's because we didn't know about the alarm clock that goes off at 5:00 am. The endless influx of bills that never seem to stop. The responsibility of providing insurance for health, home, car and life for your family.  The costs of maintaining and operating a home and cars.  The stress of creating a balance in your life that allows time for your home and family, their activities and commitments, your church family and responsibilites, your parents and extended family, the family pets and how about feeding and clothing your family and maybe a few hours of sleep each day?

That's when we began to dream of the day that our children "grow up".  When they will be old enough to drive themselves to all the places they go.  When they begin to accept responsibilities of their own and relieve some of ours.  That seems like something far away and distant.  We are almost afraid to admit that we might look forward to those days.

Then "Poof!"  It happens.  We wake up one day and realize...we spent so much of our life waiting for the next phase to arrive..."Anticipating" what was yet to come...that tomorrow is finally here. It seems that we have wished half our life away.   Now, what do we "Anticipate"?  

The next question is the scariest one of all..."Why are we still waiting?"  

No...if I am as honest about this as I promised myself I would be..."Why am I still waiting?"  

There's nothing to be gained by dreaming about the past and lamenting days gone by...imagining a different reality and reciting "What ifs".  The real tragedy in this scenario is the stagnant continuation in a sea of "Anticipation".  Like a record needle that is stuck and plays the same track over and over again. "Anticipation, Anticipation is making me late... Is keeping me waiting...".

I need to pull myself out of the muck and mire of "Anticipation" and start this year headed down the road to something that has been waiting for me.  Maybe it was there all this time.  Life got too busy and with blinders on, I missed it.  Ran right by it.  Or maybe, God was preparing me to be ready for it when the time was right.  

I don't know.  I just know that I need to Open the eyes of my Heart and make certain that I don't miss it completely.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet^[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. "
Ecclesiastes 3:11-13 NIV